Epilogue: All Hail the Victorious and Brave Little Lecturer

Don't know the cast members of this drama yet? 

Read about them here first!

Upon the field of battle now descends a heavy fog,

An evil wind begins to blow as we begin this epilogue;

The battle ‘tween the forces of the Lecturer so right,

And the evil forces of Small Campus, soon will be alight.

The Sneaky Snake has had Small Campus tightly in his grip,

For far too long has terrorized the people with his whip;

And Nokloo, ever feckless, is a pointless piece of muck,

But soon the two of them will run so quickly out of luck.

And over in Big Cities where we find Big Boss so fat,

Big U now knows the Lecturer is going to the mat;

For they had truly had their chance to sort things out so nice,

But they did choose a mighty war, and so they’ll pay the price.

Big Boss the mighty ruler of Big U is full of hate,

And as a hypocrite, he is a giant heavyweight;

The blowhard University does preach diversity galore,

But when it comes to doing right, they think it’s quite the chore!

And let’s remember at the U the minions of Big Boss,

Our friend Chameleon with the brain just like stale applesauce,

Who was supposed to take good care of people with a need,

Instead he’d always change his colors with the utmost speed.

Now here we have to add one clarifying little comment,

Sometimes Chameleon did not change his colors or intent,

For Big Boss had his favorites that he’d help without a doubt,

And if you’re one of those, Chameleon just might help you out.

And others on Big Boss’s team smell just like rotten fish,

There are Big Boss’s lawyers, there to push his every wish;

We really have to ask as well if they went to law school,

Instead of doing legal right, they just talk like a fool.

We also have to wonder if they ever read the law,

For legal points of jurisprudence they can never draw;

And if you do their job for them and tell them what to think,

They’ll simply stare right back at you as if they need a shrink.

Now all that’s fine to know the score of where things now do stand,

We see that there’s no justice in the State or Mighty Land.

And so our hero, ever brave, the true and noble knight,

Has drawn a plan of action – University to smite!

But on the field of battle, what is this upon the hill?

A figure dim and only faintly, yet a signal of goodwill;

He grows in brightness, through the fog so strong and mighty dense;

But hark! At last we see our missing friend, Professor Commonsense!

Professor Commonsense

We heard his words of wisdom when this story did commence,

But evil admin forces silenced him with great offence,

And put him where they thought no damage he could ever do,

But he has now escaped to kick the campus black and blue!

Professor Commonsense is mad, as mad as bloody hell,

As so when he appeared just now, he did begin to yell.

“You fools,” he said, to Sneaky Snake, to Big Boss and Nokloo,

“You turned a happy campus into such a fecal stew!”

“You worthless pieces of debris,” he then continued on,

“You are not fit to lead at all, your brains are from a prawn.”

But Commonsense did not stop there, he then said very plain,

“You made this giant mess we have, you’re utterly insane!”

And then Professor Commonsense, pronounced his greatest thought,

“To treat each other kindly is the way we should be taught,

   for this is how we were before your evil forces came,

   but we’ll reclaim the way we were, you’ll exit out in shame!”   

Then Commonsense did take his place up in the viewing stand,

For he had waited oh-so-long to see the battle grand;

And watch Small Campus and Big U be kicked just like a ball,

For there were countless victims who were waiting for their fall!

The battle oh-so-righteous, then, our hero did begin,

In history a knight more brave had simply never been;

He readied all his forces to defeat the mighty U,

Preparing his artillery to turn them into stew.

The Brave Little Lecturer took his field marshal’s baton,

And motioned to his allies that the battle was now on;

He vowed to all the victims that the right would soon prevail,

For soon Small Campus and Big U with truth he would assail!

CHAMELEON’S DEMISE

The first to be defeated by the brilliant plan of battle,

Was Chameleon, the enforcer of Big Boss’s rules and chattel,

For as we know Chameleon was supposed to stand for right,

But always changed his colors so he’d stay right out of sight!

The vanguard of the Lecturer then saw Chameleon run,

But from his crimes he could not hide, they weighed a metric tonne!

He had become so very scared, from here to there he’d race,

It’s really quite amazing that he could keep up the pace! 

Chameleon’s luck did not remain, it soon ran quickly out,

And all his energy and hope, they quickly were burned out;

The army of the Lecturer surrounded him with wrath,

And then they put Chameleon right into a bleaching bath!

Chameleon tossed and turned and fought, unable to resist,

The Lecturer then told him that he really must desist;

For there was no escape for him from what would be apparent,

The bleach had made Chameleon be entirely transparent!

Chameleon, now transparent, can't lie for the University

No more could the Chameleon change his colors and deceive,

No more the victims would his lies and narratives believe;

He could not simply do whatever Big Boss had in mind,

For people could see through him now, his plans were all defined.

Chameleon then went off in shame to hide his silly look,

For on his evil ways the Lecturer had closed the book;

Chameleon didn’t know if he could face the world again;

He lost his job as Lying Bastard, how he missed the mortal sin!

A truthful and transparent fellow to Big Boss was of no use,

He could not help the university to hide all its abuse;

The first of evil forces, then, the Lecturer had slain,

And soon the rest of them would also sharply feel the pain!

BIG BARK’S DOWNFALL

The next to find himself right centred in the sights,

Of the Lecturer’s brave army of a thousand valiant knights,

Was a legal beagle we’ve heard lots about before,

Big Bark, a failure through and through was heading for the door.

He ran for cover when he heard the Lecturer approach,

Like the coward that he was, he hid just like a filthy roach;

Big Bark, however, could not hide, his hole it soon was found,

And he was soon surrounded and was rolling on the ground.

Not willing to admit at all that he had done much wrong,

To surrender, he refused, for he was really quite headstrong;

You see Big Bark was used to having all the worldly power,

But now the tables turned, and he began quickly to cower.

Big Bark decided he would use all of his legal tricks,

For that is how the game is played in dirty politics;

He threw a writ and then a motion quickly in the fray,

He quoted unrelated laws and jabbered all the day.

Big Bark’s attacks were fruitless, though, they never worked at all,

He couldn’t understand just how he’d ridden for a fall;

The Lecturer, moreover, countered every single move,

And made Big Bark at last to fall; he’d really found his groove!

But that was not the end of Bark, for more there was in store,

The victims were all lining up to even out the score;

The Lecturer then took a net, the biggest one around,

And with it caught Big Bark and took him  right down to the ground.

The Brave Little Lecturer took Bark’s robe and then his wig,

And burned them in a fire, oh-so-bright and oh-so-big,

For once he had been stripped of all the trappings of his post,

He was like any dog, not like the chief quite uppermost.

But there was even more to come to Bark, the timid dog,

Who once was on the seat of power like a fat ole hog;

Big Bark was underneath a coward, scared of everything,

And suddenly, now, for his rights, the wimpy pup did sing!

The Lecturer then grabbed Big Bark right by his doggie collar,

“This is not fair! How could you  dare?” Big Bark began the holler;

The Lecturer’s brave army then did quickly come around,

And dragged him, kicking, screaming, right up to the city pound!

Big Bark safely in the pound

And so Big Bark had done to him what he had done to others,

He should have treated people just like sisters and like brothers,

Instead he left them all alone, themselves they had to help,

Yet, hypocrite, when it was him, for help he did so yelp!

But there he was shut in the pound, behind the bars so strong,

Where he could not harm others for a time so very long,

Yes, in the pound is where he’ll stay, it won’t be very fun;

Now off to vanquish other foes, the Lecturer must run!

NOHOPE’S DEPARTURE

Soon Nohope called Foryu, so aptly named, was running scared,

For she had seen how poorly all the other scum had fared;

The Lecturer and his brave knights had cornered her at last,

It was the time for justice fair for all she had harassed.

She was, however, just a little tiny shrew so cute,

She ran around and then did hide and stayed so very mute.

It was in vain, just like the rest, she soon was dug right out,

And then began to squeak and squawk and really flailed about.

Indeed, Nohope had failed to do her job so very grand,

Protecting all the civil rights across the wide, vast land;

Instead she was a worthless waste of space with empty head,

She never helped the victims, and their pleas she never read.

The Lecturer then thought a bit about just what to do,

For Nohope was quite useless, and her crimes, they did accrue;

Her empty head, however, was the cause of all she’d done,

So, cleverly, the Lecturer decided on some fun!

He thought that she, though not a good faithful grand protector,

Would perhaps succeed if she were in another sector;

She was the cutest little shrew that he had ever met,

And so the Lecturer did think that she should be a pet!

He put Nohope right in a box and poked it full of holes,

And then secured it carefully upon two transport poles, 

And with his army oh-so-brave, they took her without fail,

Right to the pet store where Nohope would soon be up for sale!

 

Nohope Foryu up for sale cheap at a pet store

THE FINAL BATTLE AGAINST THE U

Then next the Brave Little Lecturer, the true and noble knight,

The field marshal so brilliant, was all ready for a fight,

For he knew it was now the time to set the scales of justice right,

And bring a resolution to all victims in their plight.

The Lecturer said, “Now’s the time to bring the battle to the U!

     It’s time for all our allies to rise up and then come through;

     Together we will make them feel what they’ve done to us all,

     And once we’ve had our fun with them, they’ll very quickly fall!”

“Our weapon,” said the Lecturer, upon the battlefield,

Will be the sword of truth together with the justice shield;

For we have not one need of more when right is on our side,

The world will quickly see just how the university has lied!”

So very true it is, you see, the university’s aware,

Just how administration lied and really didn’t care;

They did such wrong to faculty, their antics take the prize,

But soon their crimes will be exposed, laid bare will be their lies.

A hush then fell upon the field where battle would take place,

The Lecturer then knew ‘twas time, and grave became his face;

He signaled to his infantry, his cannon he prepared,

The victory he would attain, the Lecturer declared!

The Lecturer had planned it all, he’d beat them in detail,

Like Alexander Nevsky he knew that he could not fail;

For one-by-one he’d split them off, just like Napoleon,

And conquer them in fine-ole-style, it would be very fun!

The first to come right into sight according to the plan,

Was Nokloo ever feckless, who was dancing with a fan;

When Nokloo saw the army of the Lecturer so brave,

He turned and shat his trousers and then started up a rave!

But luck was not on Nokloo’s side, the truth he could not face,

That as a not-so-fearless leader he just took up space,

And all the woes that kept Small Campus always off the level,

Were all his fault, for he has been so dumb to hire the Devil!

That’s right, you see, we do just know that Sneaky Snake is quite,

The devil through and through who always stands against the right,

And Nokloo is the moron – that from earlier recall –

Who hired Sneaky Snake to be the Ruler over all.  

Now ‘twas the turn of Nokloo to be sent into a fuss,

By truth and justice, ever straight, which always is a plus,

And Nokloo tried to run and hide, just like a constant coward,

But it was not to be, for he was quickly overpowered.

The Lecturer said straight to him, “You little whiny clown,

You couldn’t lead flies straight to dung, it’s time to take you down.”

Then from Nokloo the Lecturer took all the emblems found,

Nokloo’s medallion from his neck did fall right to the ground.

On seeing this Nokloo was shocked and soon began to cry,

“That was the only thing I love, it cost so much to buy,”

Nokloo did say, all quite upset, but then he lost the plot,

For we do know that Nokloo’s brain cannot long keep a thought!

“And how did Nokloo end,” you say? You really want to know?

For Nokloo what would happen next was really quite a blow;

The Lecturer put Nokloo out to pasture on a farm,

For there he knew that finally Nokloo could do no harm!

Nokloo out to pasture on a farm

So Nokloo spent his days outside, pretending to be grand,

He pecked his food right off the ground from what there was at hand,

And lived in muck and slimy waste, it wasn’t fun at all,

Once Nokloo sat on high, so this was quite a massive fall! 

And here we have the morale of this part of our long tale,

If you will be a leader, you can’t abdicate wholesale,

Your responsibility most grave to care for those you lead,

For if you do you, then Nokloo’s fate might come to you indeed!

And having seen what happened to the not-so-fearless leader,

Sneaky Snake then ran like hell at quite the rapid meter;

He slithered here and slithered there in hopes to get away,

But it was not to be for him, a high price he would pay!

The Sneaky Snake then cracked his whip as loudly as he could,

The Lecturer was not afraid and very firmly stood;

So Sneaky Snake tried once again to scare off all the force,

To hit them one by one, he tried, it was a tricky course.

Of all the enemies so far, the Sneaky Snake did fight the most,

And he did bring with him for luck a great demonic host;

For we yet know that Sneaky Snake is evil through and through,

But he was keen that he would not receive what was his due.

But Sneaky Snake did over-guess just how much he was skilled,

And so his thoughts of victory would soon go unfulfilled;

The Lecturer did wait for Sneaky Snake to be tired out,

And then he tightly grabbed his tale and gave a mighty shout.

The Sneaky Snake squirmed in the grip of our true noble knight,

He tried and tried, but time did tell he could not dodge his plight;

He cursed the Lecturer the more and said, “This is harassment!”

The Lecturer thought, “What a laugh! We must put this in print!”

With Sneaky Snake hypocrisy we see, so plainly on display,

Quite common for those evil ones who always want their way,

When tables turn and they are ripe to get their just deserts,

They cry like victims, saying loud, “Oh my! Oh how this hurts!”

The Lecturer would not be moved by those tears oh-so-fake,

For it was time to visit justice on the Sneaky Snake;

The spectators up in the stand all gave a mighty gasp,

The Brave Little Lecturer then tightened up his grasp.

“Was would become of Sneaky Snake?” the spectators did wonder;

The Lecturer raised up his hand, there came a mighty thunder,

He showed to Sneaky Snake the awful Sword of Truth so bright,

And Sneaky Snake was sore afraid of what would be his plight.

The Lecturer and his brave knights were ready at the hand,

For they would now restore the peace across all of the land,

The Sneaky Snake had terrorized the faculty too long,

And now ‘twas time for Sneaky Snake to pay for all his wrong.

The mighty army put in play the strategy they’d planned,

And to the toilet they did take the Sneaky Snake by hand,

They put him in the bowl headfirst, and then they closed the lid,

You could hear him squirming all about just like a writhing squid.

Sneaky Snake gets his just deserts, flushed down the toilet!
No more will he be able to torment faculty! 

The Lecturer then came right up to do the final part,

The honor he had earned, you see, for his great, noble heart;

With ceremony oh-so-grand, he pulled the toilet chain,

And flushed the Sneaky Snake away, right down the sewer drain!!!

 THE VICTORY AND TRIUMPH

And suddenly the skies did clear and turn so very blue,

The sun came out and shone across the land with warmth anew,

The faculty were pleased at Sneaky Snake right in the sewer,

For long they’d waited to be rid of such an evil-doer!

Nokloo and Sneaky Snake and all the rulers of the U,

Could no more torment faculty, that much we know is true;

Big Boss, when he did see what was the fate of Sneaky Snake,

Did run like hell for parts unknown and jump into a lake!

The Lecturer was hoisted on the shoulders of his knights,

For he had given back to faculty their valid rights!

And once again the banners flew, the soldiers gave salute,

The Lecturer had won the war, that no one could dispute!

The Brave Little Lecturer stands victorious over all his defeated enemies!

Then angels sang up in the sky a hymn of victory,

For now Small Campus once again could finally be free,

They were no longer under Sneaky Snake and all the rest,

The Lecturer had won the day, at war he was the best! 

The thunder most victorious the canon sounded loud,

And all the righteous Army marched along so very proud,

The trumpets and the fifes triumphantly did sound in praise,

And scores of martial drums did beat a deafening, loud blaze! 

For evil they defeated by the plan they'd put in action,

It was so brilliant that it stopped the U's great malefaction;

The University did think their evil ways would last forever,

But they did not expect the Lecturer to be so clever! 

The Lecturer so brave was quite the brilliant strategist,

As marshal of his troops, he was found always in their midst;

For unlike Sneaky Snake, Nokloo, and also all the rest,

He was no coward, this we know, he would not be suppressed! 

And what was it we see that won the war against the U?

It was not lawyers overpriced, but something much more true;

Cold steel was also not of need, for there was something stronger,

Against this weapon so robust the U could stand no longer.

We've mentioned this great weapon in our story several times, 

It was the most effective way to punish admin crimes;

It was the Sword of Truth and Shield of Justice wielded true, 

That gave to University an awful mighty screw! 

The Brave Little Lecturer, all crowned with golden laurel, 

Had won a mighty victory, most glorious and moral. 

The Sword of Truth and Shield of Justice, infinitely strong, 

Are best to stand against the evil and to right the wrong. 

For even when it seems that evil has the upper hand,

And victims feel as if they are so thoroughly outmanned, 

Then truth and justice magnify the power of their force,

And evil will fall soon enough, for it can't stay the course.

So finally blue skies and happiness came once again,

Small Campus could breathe free, a new life would begin;

With peace and justice all around, the faculty could thrive,

And after many years of strife, they fin’lly felt alive.

No more would Nokloo ruin things with schizophrenic antics,

No more would Sneaky Snake torment with torturing semantics;

The Gophers could no longer cause a chaos all around,

Professionals had come at last with skills that would astound!

The fate of all the scum that earlier had ruled the U, 

We know quite well already, so we don't need to review;

Importantly their reign of terror has been brought to end,

And we have shown the world so plainly just how they had sinned.

The future for Small Campus is as bright as it can be,

For now Professor Commonsense is leader, we can see;

He should have been the leader, oh, along right from the start,

For he knows how to lead and has a very serving heart.

And let this be a lesson to all tyrants foul and vile,

Who torture those who're in their care in loathsome, monstrous style;

One day you'll find you've picked on someone who will not be moved,

And then your fate will be as bad as in this tale was proved! 

 THE FINAL WORD

The Lecturer has won the day, it's now time for a rest,

But first we really have to tell just why he was the best;

The University did underestimate him from the start, 

But he knew how to play the game, for them he was too smart.

We'll let you in on quite a little secret we can tell: 

To fight for justice without fail against a vile cartel,

To stand against a mighty foe, defending what is right,

Was nothing new, you see, at all, for our brave, noble knight.

For when we say the Lecturer is really good at war,

It's not exaggeration, for he knows it to the core;

For truly wars are nothing new, they come in many forms,

The lecturer has fought victorious through so many storms.

So in this story let us tell how evil's fate was sealed,

The lecturer at every turn had nicely laid the field;

He set it so at each point leadership could freely choose,

They either could do right or else get likelier to lose.

The plan he used was classic in conception and in play,

He kept to it religiously, and then he won the day;

From start to finish all did go as he had preconceived,

The admin thought that they had won, but soon they all got reeved!

The University at each and every point throughout this tale,

Did something very stupid, idiotic off the scale;

The lecturer did play them like a fine Italian fiddle,

'fore long he had them where he wanted, right up on a griddle.

And people often thought that lawyers were what he’d deploy,

For after all the U had many pettifoggers in employ;

Though that was always possible, it was more secondary,

The Lecturer did not need lawyers, on his own he was more scary!

To get a settlement is nice; who wouldn’t like some money?

To see the University pay out would be so funny;

Yet better still it is to show their filthy, lying crime;

To all world, both far and wide; it will be so sublime!

But we'll not tell his battle plans completely and intact,

Although what we have stated here is thoroughly the fact;

The Lecturer's full strategy, secure it will remain,

And if the U seeks vengeance, he’ll defeat them once again! 

But now it's time, we said, to take a break from battle glory,

For we have reached the end of this, our fascinating story;

The shiny armor of our knight, he's hung up on hook,

And now he thinks it is the time to catch up on a book.

To celebrate the victory, he thought he'd have some tea,

Right from the samovar, you see, just like it ought to be;

And while his tea he slowly sipped from quite a lovely cup,

What next to do he did decide, for he was so cheered up! 

A cruise he'd take, that's what he said, right out upon the ocean,

That was the perfect thing, he thought, a very brilliant notion;

Out there upon a ship upon the sea so blue and vast,

It was a pleasant place to be, from bow to mizzenmast.

A sailor, on the sea, the Lecturer was quite at home,

He loved to watch the waves go by and gently turn to foam;

The University he soon forgot, his time they were not worth,

For there was nothing they could do, they would not spoil his mirth! 

The victory indeed was his, he won just as he planned,

Frustrated was the U because they couldn't get him banned;

All those who tried to do him harm, they are a loser crew,

The Lecturer's success is set, there's nothing they can do! 

The Brave Little Lecturer enjoys a relaxing and well-deserved cruise after defeating all the enemies.
Truth and right wins in the end. Evil will not flourish.